Hopefully I won’t need to write these much longer. Things have been progressing in a good way, but I feel I should share them with you since you have read so much of the bad stuff.
I saw my doctor last Wednesday. It was a long appointment as we had a lot to discuss. It was my first time seeing her since I had been in the hospital about 3 weeks prior, though I had spoken to her nurse on the phone several times. We talked about the urges I was still having for self harm, as well as the lack of sleep. We also discussed the feasibility of returning to work and when that should take place. We talked about specific medications–which ones felt like they were working and which ones needed improvement.
In short, I used my journals to generate a list of questions to ask and my husband added one or two to the list. He went with me to the appointment. This is why I stressed in an earlier post the importance of keeping a journal, especially when ill. I don’t feel that I forgot to bring up anything with my doctor because I had taken such thorough notes on my condition and asked for outside perspective.
She decided to increase one of my big meds and I am now on a fairly high dose of it. I need to get my blood tested next week to see if my level has increased at all. After the last increase, the level stayed pretty much the same and it was on the low side of therapeutic. She also decided to cut back on my sleeping pill, which seemed counter intuitive to me at first since I hadn’t been sleeping well in over a month. But then she added an anti-anxiety med three times a day, including at bedtime. My problem had not been going to sleep. It had been staying asleep.
Since the medication change, I have slept 4 solid nights. Last night I had a coughing fit and slept in the recliner, but slept okay. I even took a nap yesterday. If it wasn’t for my allergies (which have been going crazy since the weather keeps fluctuating), I probably would have gotten 5 solid nights in a row.
In addition to having a good night’s sleep for several nights, I haven’t been experiencing thoughts of self-harm since Tuesday. I don’t feel safe with sharps just yet, but if I get another week of freedom under my belt, I will feel a little better with having Hubby unlock the sharps. It will definitely make crafting easier. As it is I have had to beg for scissors and have someone in the room with me when I use them. This is for my own safety, but it can get rather inconvenient.
I went back to work Thursday since I was out of paid leave. The doctor approved this since I would be more stressed sitting at home with no money coming in. I am at work today, and so far, my Monday is going well. I hope your Monday is going well, too. Have a great day, and stay safe!