Happy Leap Day!

Happy Leap Day! I always believe that days like today and Friday the 13th are lucky days. At least I hope they are! I had a rough day yesterday. Lots of restlessness, some anxiety, and a general inability to focus on much of anything usually = a mixed bipolar episode. I tried to warn the doctor that if I didn’t get some solid sleep soon this was going to happen, but I don’t think she knows me well enough yet to believe me. I know my body and my moods better than anyone. I took a PRN medication for the restlessness and anxiety and it took the edge off.

Last night I still tossed, turned, and got up to go to the bathroom a lot. I am usually up at least 4-5 times a night. My body feels exhausted but my mind feels wide awake. This is the most dangerous state for me to be in, so I am following my safety plan and setting up “Marsha-sitters” for times my hubby is going to be gone this week. I already asked a friend of mine to sit with my Thursday while he is at a trivia contest. I need someone for Wednesday when he is at choir (which is only about 1 1/2 hours). I might ask my sister, but I know my niece would be sorely disappointed if only I came over. She loves her uncle.

I am hoping that by making sure I am rarely alone that I am also making sure I don’t harm myself. This usually works, but sometimes I can be a bit of a trickster, even when people are watching me. It is the manipulative part of my borderline illness that causes me to do this. I have outgrown a lot of these tendencies, but they still rear their ugly heads from time to time. I hate thinking of myself as manipulative (it is an ugly word), but I can be.

Tonight, Hubby and I are going up to CoMo to learn more about Dice Masters. We have the basics down and want to learn some of the advanced play. It will be a fun trip and Mondays are when they have lots of people on hand to teach us what we would like to know. I always like to go to CoMo. Since it is home to a large university, it is diverse and is kind of a hippie town. It is not a place I want to live because the crime is bad, but I love visiting there.

Well, have a great day, all. I am trying to. I feel better today than I did yesterday. Enjoy your leap day!

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